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!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'
G O D L E N E S
Super Mario Brothers
i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.i.
Did-de-dah-did, de-da-dum-de-dum-de-did, der-der-der-der, der-dah-der-de-der-
dah-der, pip! pip!
Sorry, just humming the spiffingly catchy tune to Super Mario Brothers, avilable
in the shops now with mixes by Nalin & Kane, The Trouser Enthusiasts and the
inevitable speed garage reworking by Dreem Teem.
Those of you familar with the third GodBoy release should have a fairly good
idea how to play Mario. For those having difficulty understanding the concept of
running and jumping, here is our guest celebrtiy to 'fill you in'.
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SUPER MARIO PLAYER'S GUIDE
By Sean 'GERROFF OUR LAND' Connery
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Mario and Luigi? They sound like spies to me. Probably gorgeous Italian women in
disguse who false moustaches and plumbing uniforms will fall off the moment I
stroll purposefully into the room.
You begin at the start, and there is no M to give you a briefing of the mission
- that's now my job. Like the labour government, you start at the left and must
move as far to the right as possible - as this is where the end of the level is
situated.
To help you with your task you have two legs which facilitate the action
commonly known as running. If you just press left and right you will simply walk
about - Angus Fraser mode. To run, hold down button B and press in a direction.
This enables a swift movement, like a Robin Cook chasing a secretary.
However, some objects are immovable - rather like Ben Nevis - and have to jumped
in one giant stride. I haven't yet attempted to leap Ben Nevis is one giant
stride, but for a man of my ability I shouldn't imagine it to be a problem.
To jump press button A. If you are running and then press jump, your jump will
be bigger than normal ( like my ego compared to the average man's ).
Those blocks scattered about the level showing a blatant disregrard for gravity
are multi purpose. Not only can you leap on them, but if you use your head -
literally - and head-butt them from bellow you will discover some gadgets that Q
has carefully stuffed in them for you.
The KGB have come up with some rather cunning disguises, but I can still spot
them a mile off. If you see an innocent looking creature moving across the
screen you can be sure is really an agent hell bent on the downfall of
capitalism. To dispose of them I use an ancient Tibetan technique taught to me
by a wise and learned football hooligan. Jump on their heads. Its the only
language they understand.
Also keep an eye out for the hidden coins scattered around the level - you can
never have enough money I say. If you collect a certain amount of coins then you
will gain an extra life - but remember 'You Only Live Twice' well three times
plus extra lives, and forever if you put trainer mode on. Perhaps we should have
trained that film and retitled it 'You Only Live Forever'.
The main aim is to find the princess "Daisy Galore". I'll give you a clue, she
is on the last level ( isn't that always the case with these games? ). You will
probably end up in bed with her, I always did.
And talking of the Royal Family - they should be disbanded and Scotland should
become a Republic! It's a disgrace that such an anachronistic organisation wield
such power and respect. But before that, where's my Knighthood you bastards?
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Trainer Modes
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* INFINITE LIVES
This gives you more lives than there are atoms in the universe.
* INVULNERABILITY
Also known as Tony Blair mode. No harm can possibly befall you!
* INFINITE TIME
It's like the millenium bug on the PC!
You don't get score on this mode or coins - cheats never prosper!
* START WORLD
Transports you to the start level of you choice!
Just like Eurolines, but without the pain of having to watch 'Four Weddings
and a Funeral' in Dutch!
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(C) 1998 Reservoir Gods
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